i close my eyes, and the flashback starts.

another year has passed, and i still haven't figured out what i want. heh. that's fine, though. i still have a lifetime to figure out what i want in life. ;D

January.I had a pretty bad start-even after telling myself that i was going to start being optimistic this year. everything just kept getting worse..which led to the cutting. err

February. I had the surprise of my life on Valentine's day. I went to my first high school prom, which was so much fun (even though i scratched my right ankle because of the shoes) because i had two girfriends with me there and we danced all night. i didn't dance the night away with my partner, though. because dancing wasn't really part of the deal and i had a pretty hard time dancing with a guy who's like a foot taller than me. lolz

March. Major cheatfest during the finals. everyone was on TM. even me! haha. super fun. (; I got back with this guy i was crazy about all throughout sophomore year. i was pretty much "inlove" back then.lolz. and what good did this bring to me? let's see..i stopped cutting. and that's about it. and during the last week of school, when the first section wasn't supposed to come back to school anymore, we still came and we just hung out with our pillows and mats and everything. and we planned our farewell party which we hid from our adviser-she's so KJ kasi..lolz. it was a huge success, of course. and lastly, i fell inlove at first sight with Robi Domingo. haha

April. I had a summer job and i hogged the computer all day for six days a week. i did households with my fellow YFCs which was so much fun because i started making friends with the sophomores. we also had a Youth Camp at GK Griño, and it was interesting..to say the least. lolz. Darlene and i became "close". xDD

May. Twilight happened, thanks to Greysh. (; you all know how big the impact of Twilight with my life was, right? and it totally kept me from moping like i did before. i had a fight with my fadurr the day before my birthday, and i spent the whole day with my Mom and Valerie. we had a reunion- me and my old classmates from montessori, which was great because we got to clear a lot of stuff and we catched up and everything. Also, i bought school supplies at Marbel with Myka, Val, Sim and Jassen. We did the usual trouble-making, of course. lollerz. and we saw Fr. Esguerra (our Parish priest) and he gave us late birthday money-or however you call it. lolz. and so I paid for Myka, Jassen and Sim's fare going home.

June. school. The whole election thing pissed me off, but it was undeniably fun. Lakers vs. Boston. xDD I had this thing for Stitch. ugh. I hate remembering that. I was still on the first section, and I thanked God and all the saints for that. ((; Klier was my seatmate and Kristan was my nieghbor, just like the year before. ;D

July . I sold my 2nd year books and bought Twilight @ P275 and Eclipse[P375]. and how much does Twilight cost these days? ;] watched the Dark Knight. I'm not really a fan of action movies, but this was so freakin awesome! xDD

August. Igot Breaking Dawn. another friend likes me. great. && getting home early to watch the Olympics. nah, just kidding. I never had a liking for sports. Went to Marbel with friends and watched A very special love at Marbel. and the Heidi-Spencer thing in class also started. Cut classes during the Buwan ng Wika culminating activity to go to Marbel with Valerie and went shopping. ;DD

September. intrams. worst. intrams. ever. we had a the Youth Camp at Oasis and Kristan is in love with me. ew. read Midnight Sun and hoped Shariah would get arrested for plagiarism. ha-ha. My grades were awesome. yeahuh!

October. Himagsikan at Isulan. so much fun.. and even better- sem break! lolz

November. RYC at Sarangani. I'm glad I went. Yes we did! Obama, baybeh. lolz. watched the Twilight movie and officialy forgot about Tezza being my friend.

December. old name, new blog. I finally got to go to Anna's house.. And Tezza started saying sorry and everything, but that won't change anything. We had our annual Lim getaway. lolz. My cousins and I went to Marbel to play paintball, but they had to fix the guns pa, kaya we went to this place called Lantaw instead. It was pretty boring for me.. i read Midnight Sun on my cousin's phone and I learned how to do the fish thingy on the rubik's cube while they drank and threw picolo's at passersby. haha.

Happy New Year everyone! ((;

ABS-CBN Broadcasting Corporation said there is no truth to the Internet buzz about the company doing a local version of the hit movie/novel "Twilight".

"There is no truth to the Web reports, particularly in the Perez Hilton blogsite, that ABS-CBN is doing a local adaptation of "Twilight". ABS-CBN will be the first to announce if it is, in fact doing so," according to ABS-CBN Corporate Communications' Bong Osorio.

Last week, abs-cbnNEWs.com did a story on an Internet report about the adaptation. The prospect of a local adaptation of "Twilight" has caused a lot of discussion, sometimes heated, on various Internet discussion fora.

as of 12/29/2008 5:32 PM

-ABS-CBN news

wahh. i'm terribly sorry about my previous post.
nobody should have seen that.

moving onn..
my dad said he's buying me tales of beedle the bard. yayy! i just hope he wouldn't forget about it and take his promise back or something cause he has bad memory. l0l
my cousins from davao spent christmas here..and i think they just left.
ugh.. i'm still sleepy. will update soon.

[edit]
i'm sick. great.
[/edit]

i fake a smile so they won't see.
not a very merry Christmas for me.. i feel like killing myself.. ugh.
nobody cares..nobody seems to understand..
the only person i thought would understand me, failed me. or maybe it's the other way around or something. whatever, doesn't matter. i'm still a stupid, stupid girl.
the dunce who took the risk and thought that maybe, just maybe, things would get better. that if i did something right, my life would get any better.
apparently not.

i hope your christmas is better than mine.
*dies.

christmas party was fun.
we had an exam for HRG before the so-called party started. it was about dating and it was so much fun because when we had the review we were making parinig at tezza and daniel because what they do is so against teenage dating etiquette. lol
so anyway, ma'am wasn't that strict during the exam so some people opened their notes while ma'am was pretending to be oblivious to us. ;D
then, we went down to the open stage and had a little program. that was around 10, so it was pretty hot and i totally ran for shade. haha. we had some games, but i just watched. then there was the mummy game, and i was pretty good at that so i just had to join. spain was so pretty then, wearing a dress with curls(i ordered her to get her hair done, and her boyfriend loved it! lol.) and we wrapped her in 2 rolls of tissue. of course, we won. ^^
then when the food arrived, all the students went back upstairs and we just cancelled the games. then while we were waiting for our mini-program to start, i asked emerson who picked me.
how could i have missed all the clues? smarter than the 1st honor, sits wayy up front, everyone in school knows her, and even though that person would give me a stufftoy which i absolutely loathe, i was still gonna thank her. i was so pissed, i started to cry and i yell in class "who the hell is this person? bat niyo gid kinaprotektahan yung identity niya?!" and "ah, bahala kayo jan! wala akong pake magkano yan, or sino nagbigay. alam niyong hate ko ang stufftoys pay. idonate ko nalang yan sa Gawad Kalinga." then later, while we started handing out gifts, it finally made sense. how could i forget that our adviser was part of the kringle thing? argh. so when it was my turn to get my gift na, everyone-and i mean everyone was chanting "stufftoy, stufftoy." and i tried to pretend that i was really happy and all but they knew how mad i was. so after i got my little gift, i put it on my chair and i did not touch the thing. i didn't even bother to open it. people were like, "van, anong laman?!" i would say "tignan mo, basta wag mo ipakita sa'kin ha."

then i opened it at home, and i was really pissed. an oversized mickey mouse thingy. and may price pa ha, 299. and yung book na pinagdadasal ko sa mga nakakaalam ng secret santa ko, 250 lang. argh. makakonsensya man uie. and teacher ko pa nagbigay. then kanina, our old maid visited us with her baby and my sister told me to give the stufftoy to her son, since it was still freaking brand-new. so..i got rid of the stufftoy, and i made my super cute godson happy! ;]

the year is finally ending, and i thought about everything that happened. twilight, was a huge thing. and it changed my life forever(thanks to greysh. ;]). and that helped me forget about that stupid boy who broke my heart for the second time. and i learned to balance school and family. i learned how to deal with the drama, though my temper issues need improvement. and i lost two friends. a very, very close one and a good one. it was pretty hard at first, but i decided that i should just let them go. i might forgive them someday and hopefully by then i'd be able to forget about them. forget that yabz and daniel ever happened. lol

i'm looking forward to christmas. i got my dad something kasi. lolz. he's been looking for a big fish dvd everywhere and so i bought one online(original. chyea bb!) and i mailed it to my sisters at davao coz if i mail it to our house here in tac town, my dad would open it. he's pretty much a snooper with the stuff i get kasi, like the books-he opened them before i did. so anyway, we're spending noche buena with him too. super bonding. haha.

merry christmas everyone! ;]

Soo.. School. Finally, something’s happening! It was beginning to get pretty boring. I started to miss the drama. Lolz. So Klier and Tisoy broke up for the nth time—this time, it was because of this joke Valerie made that Tisoy took seriously. And now Klier says she`s supposedly had enough of Val an that she’s really mad at her, but I don’t think so. Seriously, they break up all the time[on a weekly basis at the least].
I’m beginning to see Klier as a mild version of Tezza; Cause Tezza and Daniel are always on the verge of breaking up cause they tend to find fault in everything(i.e., falling asleep while texting at night or playing DoTa without permission of teh girlfriend)but the difference is that Klier and Tisoy break up because of Tisoy’s anger management issues and loyalty to Klier and Klier’s loyalty to him as well. And Tezza talks about Daniel 99% of the time, while Klier only talks about Tisoy when they break up, which I can still handle. So where do I fit in here? See, I’m the type of friend who’s not gonna let her friends look as stupid as they really are and I’m also pretty protective of them. But some people,(including Tezza) define true friends as being there for you no matter what stupid thing you keep on doing over and over again no matter how much we tell her to stop.It’s really stupid, because of her defensiveness, she’s failed to see my point. What’s stupider, is that she told me that she’d do this to me when I’d mess up[fall for him again]. I guess she’d never thought that people would ever start to think of her as someone way worse than I am. Funny. ;DD As for Klier, I’m afraid that all her hanging out with Tezza would make her a Tezza as well, and that would mean being awfully narrow-minded, friendless and utterly disgusting because of her intense feelings for the boyfriend. But I can’t help but feel sorry for Tezza. Because really, she doesn’t have any friends anymore and Klier is her only girl friend. The only other “real” friends she’s got are Daniel’s minions-or so they used to be. Hah!
You prolly think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. They are utterly disgusting. Normal couples hold hands and sit a close to each other—and they do that without teachers, with a few friends around. As for “them”, she sits on his lap, hands AND arms intertwined. Or maybe his arms around her waist. I don’t really recall everything they do, because they gross me out so bad i don’t want to waste 2 seconds looking at them. Sorry you had to read that, I don’t want you to think I’m making this up.

Err.. Why do I keep on talking about other people? Not that I think its better to talk about myself a day or something, but hey. There’s always something way better than talking about Speidi.

I watched Twilight online. I was planning to watch it in a cinema, but then my sister told me the movie was BAD, so I decided to just watch it online and not spend on something so horribly done. Speaking of Twilight, what is up with Rob’s hair? I mean, I get the whole Edward Cullen hair[or however fangirls call it] and everything, but his hair just looks really bad. Ugh. He smokes. And Kristen smokes through a pipe. And Kristen has bad acting skills. gee, i really hate the movie, don't i? okay. i'm gonna stop ranting about it na because I already made a review for the school paper about Twilight. Hah. I’m a contributor now, and Shariah said I might get to be a staffer next year. *crosses fingers. Buti pa ang Siena, narelease na ang paper nila.

Btw, We have this project in English where we’re gonna make our own newspaper. Our name? The Chronicle. I had ideas too, mind you. But they didn’t like The Daily Prophet[our paper’s not coming out everyday] and some others I forgot about. Lemuel thought of the herald or something and I was seriously about to make him cry again but I got kinda scared cause he keeps leaving his inhaler at his house. Lolz. We were supposed to do that for the third quarter, but we were too busy with our project in religion-reports about every church in tacurong, that our English teacher was kind enough to give way.

Also, we had a poem recital last week. We got to choose whatever poem we wanted. And we were gonna do it on cam. I wanted to do Greysh’s This is a story, but then St.Jude would think that the poem would be addressed to someone in class. So I ended up using this random poem from my sister’s publication-The Rock. Oh, right. I also thought of the Rock but they couldn’t think of a reason why we would choose that. (As if they had a reason for choosing Boston and Lakers as names for parties back in the class elections..) I'm gonna be writing a feature for Twilight, and I'm pretty sure Judeans[YUCK] would read it cause they've gotten interest in Twilight now. Thanks to me and Bruce who brings his books(which i bought in eBay for him and cost twice the amount i paid for last July) and me, whose chair is totally Twilight-ized. My armchair has photos of Kellan, Rob and Taylor and my nameplate looks pretty much like the book cover. Yey me!

Woah. This is getting pretty long. I guess this is what I get for not blogging for so long.

i can't stop thinking about blogging.
i missed everyone so much. but i'm not coming out yet..
i'm not sure if anyone's taking me back.

so where was i, for the past months?
i've been a zombie. trying to figure out what i want to do with my life. one day, our teacher told us that we should study real hard and get used to much, much, more stress-college.
so then i realized, why? why should i study? what's the point? what do i want to do with my life? how do i see myself 10 years from now? i was horrified. people around me talk about what they want to be when they grow up and everything. as for me, i just sit there. thinking.. thinking of what's next. i thought i'd just let nature take it's course or something..but i got nothing. i have no clue what i want. and that sucks.
school was err, whatever. i got four line of 8's. but that's okay. i got wayy higher in araling panlipunan and my homeroom totally took me by surprise. i strived, and strived, and then the questions haunt me once more. i can't just ignore them.
no boylets/love life. i thought i was gonna have a hard time from keeping girls from stealing edward from me in school, but i didn't. they didn't like him very much. not just him, but the whole movie. but i don't blame them. i think, as other twilighteers do, that the movie was crap. i expected so much and got so little. but that's okay. it's edward anthony masen cullen that i love, not edward rpattz cullen.
prom. prom is just 2 months away and i can't think of anything to wear. why, oh why, did we have to have a fairy-tale themed prom?! argh. HELP!
cj is my partner. he's a pretty good friend, and we're pretty comfortable with each other so we're bound to enjoy prom. that is, if i have a dress.
the tezza thing is going pretty awesome. nobody in class likes her anymore and someone caught her making out with daniel in the uber-stinky boys' bathroom. she used to be so defensive and angry at me cause i badmouth her ALL THE TIME, but i can't help it if 95% of what i say is true. i only exaggerate about the part where i think she's half a virgin. xDD but now she's all "please give us a chance blah, blah"
so uhhm.. i might post some more tomorrow. i have to go now cause we're going to dawn mass tomorrow and we're having our christmas party. i still don't know who picked me..it's driving me crazy! ;D