i close my eyes, and the flashback starts.

our worth isn't measured by our GPA

-Sean Covey

i'm currently rereading the 7 habits of highly effective teens.
let's just say that i am desperate to get my life back on track. (:

in other news.. JUSTIN BIEBER FEVER. bear with my fangirlness, people. [why the heck do i keep spelling peaople?] this will be gone the moment your classmates start screaming "have you heard of Justin Bieber? i love him!".

we won't be having classes from monday til wednesday next week cause the faculty's having their retreat which is so annoying, because i am literally in the mood to do school stuff. no, not stuff like the play, i mean learning. gah, i hate that about myself. look at me now, eager to listen to my teachers and read stuff but come exam week, i'd find something to do to keep me from doing more important stuff. tomorrow my groups's gonna have a practice for our play. I want everything to be absolutely flawless. We're the group with the shortest script, so I want us to have the best acting. Cause no offense to them other actors, yeah I'm gonna start to stop making people look bad just to feel better about myself.--got that from ANTM. xDD

We had our culminating activity for Buwan ng Wika today. Ay tama, dapat pala magTagalog ako! sige, sige. dito nalang ako magsisimula. tinatamad kasi akong ulitin yung mga nauna ko nang itinype. Itong Buwan ng Wika na to ang ikalawang buwan ng wika na sinalihan ko sa mula nang pagtuntong ko sa pansekundaryang paaralan. teka muna, pakiramdam ko mali-mali ang pagtatagalog ko. --nag-iisip-- pabayaan niyo na, yan na ang pinakamagaling ko. deh, biro lang. wala kasi akong ganang magtagalog ng lubos-lubos ngayon e. pagtawanan niyo na lang ang pagtatagalog ko, lalo ka na yssa! xD

balik sa buwan ng wika. marahil ay nagtataka kayo kung bakit sa apat na taon ko sa hayskul ay dalawang buwan ng wika pa lamang ang dinadaluhan ko. yan ay dahil ayokong mag Filipiniana. yun lang. Nung unang taon ko ay pumunta ako dahil mayroon akong maisusuot, at yun ay iyong kasuotan namin noong ikaanim na baitang kung saan ay sumayaw kami ng tinatawag na tambourine dance. lubos akong pinagtawanan ng aking mga kamag-aral noon, lalo na ng mga dati kong kaklase sa pinakamamahal kong Montessori. siguro natrauma na akong magsuot ng Filipiniana mula noon. Naalala ko pa, pagkatapos ng programa ay umulan ng malakas, at naligo kami nina Rea at Jezza sa ulan habang suot ko pa ang napakapangit kong kasuotan. Ewan ko na lang kung saan na iyon ngayon. Di bale nga. Ngayong taon, wala akong magawa kundi magmukhang tanga, lola, manang at lahat lahat na. Bakit? dahil kay Ginang Dagamac, ang guro ko sa asignaturang Filipino. Sabi niya kasi, kung hindi raw kami susuot ng Filipiniana, ay tuwing Filipino period ay magsusuot kami nito. Sa loob ng dalawang linggo. At hindi iyon biro, dahil ginawa iyon ng kuya ko noong nakaraang taon. Nagkabati na kami ni RD, at pinahiram niya naman ako ng baro't saya niya. Salamat sa kay RD dahil pinahiram niya ako, pero patawad dahil ayoko talaga sa ating pambansang kasuotan. Ang tingin ko kasi sa mga nakaFilipiniana, sila si Imelda Marcos. O kung naka baro't saya naman, manang. yuck. Nasa Davao ngayon si mommy, inaasikaso ang PMMA ni siopao-kuya ko. At si Valerie naman ay matutulog sa Tacurong National Highschool dahil magkakaroon siya ng talk. Di ko pa alam san ako matutulog ngayong gabi. Gusto ko sana kanila RD ulit, kaso baka magalit ang mga kagrupo ko. Noong nakaraang Linggo kasi natulog rin ako sa bahay niya, at imbes na alas syete ng umaga ako dumating sa aming tagpuan, ay alas otso akong dumating. Pinagalitan tuloy ako.

I just checked out my August 2008 posts on my old blog. Ba't ba ako tumigil sa paglalagay ng icons? at dayum, gawa-gawa ko lang pala tong pagtatagalog sa buwan ng wika. epal.
hindi ako makarelate sa susunod na icon, sapagkat ako'y isang blogger, pero sige lang. blog ko naman ito eh.
Alam niyo ba yung lawsuit ni Liskula Cohen laban sa isang blogger sa blogspot na tinawag siyang "skank" at an "old hag"? mabuti naman at hindi natuloy yung pagpapakulong sa blogger. Iniexpress lang naman nya ang kanyang freedom of expression eh, buti sana kung nagpost siya ng scandal or something ng ibang tao. Nakakatawa, kasi inorder niya talaga sa Google na hanapin kung sino yung blogger na yun. oh well. I got that from Inside Edition.

See? I have been watching too much television. hmpft.

we had intrams last week, and as i said before, i was playing word factory--and our group became champion. because of default. haha

i'd love to say that i wasn't able to blog because not a lot of stuff has been happening-which is, as you all know..the usual. but not this time. a lot of shit has been happening i was too scared to confront it. and that's me, and i hate it. Greysh is soo i don't care what people say about me and i admire her for that and she knows it. as for me, i pretend not to care.. and then it builds up. and i'd be all new year's eve again. srsly, my life is so full of drama, if it was on MMK, it would bag them twice the number of their usual awards. and i'm not kidding. yesterday was so far..the best day of senior year, and i realized how much i've lied. no, i don't lie the normal way like "yeah, i go to Siena and Ma'am Aimee is my favorite teacher and it's too bad she's gone, but Sister Zeny is pretty fun so that's okay". i lie like...i don't say anything. as much as possible, i try to avoid talking about the things that i don't want people to know about me, thus leading them to think of some other stuff. for example. when people ask me where we stay in Davao, i simply say sa bahay. and immediately change the topic. but the truth is it's papang's house, and not ours. but all my classmates say it's ours and i can't really say anything because i'm scared of what they'll say. i know that's stupid, but HELLO. i hate being embarassed and teased. it's like, i'm completely aware of my horrible state, so do you have to rub it my effing face?! anyway. i'm tired of lying. i hate it when people lie to me, even when they call it "kidding", but i just hate it. because i do it too. stupid.

moving on... intrams was crazy. it wasn't fun or amazing or anything. it wasn't like intrams of freshman year which was the best i've had so far. puppy love-LOL, getting married to Renz Urbano and hanging out all week with mommy aimz.. anyway, every morning i would go to school at 8am- an hour after they checked attendance and stay at the SSC office. then i saw Ray struggling with being an official and trying to figure out Linux-ikr, our school is WAY old school- so i said i'd be in charge of the sound booth, so yeah. that's basically what i did all intrams. i'd do the song requests while anna read the dedications, and when she got tired of announcing the game results and reading dedications, she'd let me do the talking. and every now and then i'd go to the AVR and wait for my so-called opponents for word factory who never came.. then on the last day, which was filled with the socio-cultural events, Flery asked me to finish this video she made, and i said yes. because you know, i like to help people. haha. PM, Anna, Sim, Aleah, JP, and Christian-the best dancers in the high school department have been blacklisted, so they weren't allowed to join the pop dance contest. so we had all these underexposed talents, and we didn't hire traino/ers, and we still got first place! so cool. because everyone had traino/ers, but them. the juniors got 2nd place, because their crumping was off and the third place was our 2nd group, which was an all-girl group and it was all glam and "hot". xD during the awarding ceremonies, me and all the SSC people were soo pissed with Ma'am Loreno for complaining so much. During the games, she'd complain that the officials aren't recording accurately, or that they need to rest and all that shit. And on the awarding ceremony, she freaking demanded consolation prizes for all those games her group lost. Did I mention she was the one who had JP and his friends blacklisted for being too good? let's all hate her. anyway, after the awarding our Principal had a message for everyone and he was like, "i hope everyone remembers that the intrams is all about talent development, and not the prizes. this goes out to the students and the teachers." and all the ssc officers, myself included, clapped real hard and Loreno was like, "stop clapping, he's still talking!" huh. Ma'am Loreno's in her 30s and she's not married. Now i know why. haha

Before the speech, we showed the video thing and i kind of added Hey Stephen to the BG music. i have no idea why i did that. maybe because i was trying to show that i don't feel funny with anything and everything connected to him, but i ended up showing the opposite. Fle was laughing really hard and Ray was singing along with emphasis on Stephen. cause you know.. Arnem Stephen.. and did you know that Stephen means prince? yeah. so when i introduced Taylor Swift's fearless album in class around November 2008 after seeing Taylor on Ellen they were like, "you'll be the PRINCE and i'll be the PRINCESS", "hey STEPHEN" and "i'm not a PRINCESS..."
arnem is currently being linked to PM's "ex". which is funny because PM doesn't have closure with her yet and it's supposed to be just "cool-off". and Kristine and i are friends, so when i approached her after the video, she didn't talk to me, and she suddenly had to go home. i hate it when that happens! remember what happened to Fle? oh, right. that's cause i was mad. but i'm not mad now. i swear.

after the program, we went to the field and decided to jump around and take pictures..it started to rain, and we ran to the stage for cover, and then we decided to just bathe in the rain. why, oh why did i decide not to wear flip-flops yesterday? my shoes are ruined. my favorite shoes are ruined. T__T
but it was still so much fun man! when the rain stopped val bought ice cream and 10 spoons, and they were about 15 of us and I shared a spoon with PM. lulz. PM is like the brother i never had.. remember when i was sick? i went to school one day for a quiz and it was so cold, and we were hugging each other and i was like, "you're so hot. don't go or i'll die!". lulz.

after that, i changed my top with Tessa and Fle and waited for Ray and Anna to finish cleaning up the office. Shariah was there too, cleaning..but she wasn't coming with us.. so yeah. haha. we took some pictures and Kristan came, and he kept staring at me. He'd sit next to me and just stare, and i get the willies. imagine: his skin is soo dark + his eyes and teeth are just white + he's always amoy araw= creepy and disgusting. so i just yapped about how proud i was of CJ who won the hosting thing even though i still abhor him for spelling potato as potatoe. xD

i'd love to post pictures, but i don't have a camera and flery said she's upload pics soon..but i highly doubt it.