i close my eyes, and the flashback starts.

LSS of the moment:
love of mine, someday you will die
but i'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark

the other night i saw into the wild, cause i wanted to see why catherine hardwicke fell in love with kristen here. anyway, gawd, that movie sucked! it was so effing depressing. i was seriously hoping that he could live, since i understood where he was coming from and all. but he didn't! ugh. and this isn't like the tragedy in the mist where you're like, "of course they'll kill themselves. duh!" i got so absorbed with the damn movie. and it just made me EXTRA pessimistic.

.sekiy .oot ,htam yduts dna .agalat tseb ym evig dna evitisop kniht ot evah tsuj i tub !od ot tahw aedi on evah i ?woh ,tub .od ll'i tahw s'taht dna .drah laer dekrow eh esuac deneppah siht lla taht dna ,won sah eh efil eht morf raf saw efil sih taht dias yeht .)gniyas tsuj ,tnediserp eht s'otit ym dna(.oavad atoyot fo namriahc ekil won si ohw-rehtafdnarg ym rof saw efil drah woh tuoba deklat ew dna snisuoc ruo htiw dah ew noisses gniknird siht rebmemer i .yllaicepse ,ylimaf ym rof .retteb eb dluow sgniht taht hsiw tsuj i .erac t'nod i .tahw derevocsid ro ohw htiw evolni llef ro ,ohw teem t'nod i fi erac t'nod i !ylsuoires .gnihtyreve pu evig d'i .erutuf eht fo esruoc eht egnahc fo tros uoy ?thgir ,tsap eht egnahc uoy nehw sneppah tahw s'taht esuac ,efil ym ni secneirepxe tseb eht pu gnivig snaem ti fi erac t'nod i .sgniht egnahc tsuj dna )ehcilc os ,hud(emit ni kcab og dluoc i taht hsiw tsuj i .taht fo esuaceb thgin ta peels t'nac i dna .ecaf ym ni ereht thgir era tegrof tsuj ro pu revoc ot deirt ev'i taht efil ym ni gniht gnorw yreve dna sekatsim ym lla ,hguorht enog ev'i parc eht lla ,ekil

today's my del corro grand father's 11th death anniversary. and we're celebrating. weird. for me, at least. cause dad's always been so funny. when he was alive, mamang-our grandmother would say, that during his mom's death anniversary he would ask mamang to cook pancit, and mamang would be like, "why? shouldn't we be mourning?" and dad would just say, "mourning? she's with God now. so let's celebrate!" gosh, i miss dad. (:

i wonder when this depression would be over...